The IVF challenge - Part 1: First Steps

My wife came out of the bathroom.  Her face said it all. I didn't need to ask...

Another negative pregnancy test!

When I met my wife back in 2014, she asked me in the first 30 mins whether more kids was on my agenda.  Too damn right I told her.  I was 38 then.  I already had one daughter from a previous relationship and I always wanted more but I had to be honest, I thought my chance for more kids had gone.  I hated the idea of my daughter being an only child, I longed to give her siblings but it just never happened.

So, when we got engaged in the summer of 2015, we set to work as it were.  If it happened betore the wedding then so be it but we wasnt overly fussed.

I literally became a machine.  It was a good job I was at peak fitness and running marathons at the time as I needed as much energy as I could get... I'll spare the details, you can use your imagination.

But no matter how much we worked at it, it just wasnt happening.  Frustration (of a different kind!) was kicking in.  

Why the bloody hell not?

Is there something wrong with us?

No was the answer.  

Two sperm count tests (second was needed after the local NHS Trust 'lost' my first sample... thanks for that!) proved that I had no issues at all.

(it was later proven I was in the top 1% of the UK male population for sperm per ml of semen - one hell of a claim to fame but we'll get on to that later!)

My wife looked at me as if she thought it was down to her.  But no, the consultant told my wife she didnt have any issues either.  My wife had to undergo an exploratory procedure and the consultant was happy to confirm that was the case.

It would go down on our records as 'unexplained fertility' (as it is for 25% of all couples with infertility issues!)

Now, from raising our issue with the GP, to getting a referral to the PRUH, to my my wife's procedure and diagnosis, we're talking well over a year, nearer 18 months in total.  More time ticking away.

Erm.  Righty ho.  

'So you're going to help us?' I asked the consultant.

The next part raises my blood pressure still, years later.

'We're really sorry, the NHS cannot support you as a couple because your husband has a child from a previous relationship'.

Like WTF.

'But my wife doesnt have children, why should she be punished like that?'

'Sorry Mr D, the NHS are unable to help and we'll discharge you from the system'...

We drove home from that appointment at the PRUH in shock.  It just made us even more determined to do whatever the hell it took.

My wife started researching our private options in case we needed it.  It helped that she had a friend who was a fertility nurse and was able to point us in the right direction.

Meanwhile, friends and family were getting pregnant almost on demand.  Almost.  Two sister-in-laws, a couple or friends.  Of course we were absolutely over the moon for them but deep down it felt like an almighty giant punch in the gut and we were left to wonder what life would have in store for us.

Change of diet, cut back the booze, vitamins, exercise, meditation, sound healing (ha, thats a story for another time but I’m open to trying anything), acupuncture, we tried everything... and I mean everything.  The ‘ovulation window’ was even on the shared calendar.  We gave it our everything but it wasnt to be.

Enough was enough.

Mrs D made the call to Zita West to book us an appointment.  

Zita West is one of the most renown assisted fertility clinics in London, just a couple of minutes walk from Baker Street station.  As we walked through the station, a busker was playing ‘Nothing Else Matters’, the classic Metallica ballad that we had chosen as our first dance.  It was a sign and we had a giggle about it.

So in to the clinic we went.  Full of intrepidation, some nerves but excitement too.  The first meeting was with a nice lady, who's main role was a counsellor.  That session is designed to let you get to know the clinic and the clinic to get to know you.  Why you were there, your history, etc.  As IVF is a major undertaking they want to know that you know what is fully involved from both a mental and physical stand point.  We both had to answer a questionnaire and we went through our answers together with the counsellor.  It resulted in us agreeing next steps and we would meet our consultant at the next meeting, Dr Simone Rofena.

Now, Dr Simone.  Full blooded Italian, I swear he impregnates women with just his voice.  So smooth in style.  Women must literally peel themselves off their seats when they leave his office.  Such a gentleman.

So the technical stuff simplified.  Mrs D’s eggs would be collected from her ovaries and my ejaculate would be introduced naturally and by ICSI (thats Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection between you and I), the numbers dependent upon how many eggs were collected.

Make sense?

So, the next step (after all the tests, blood tests, etc) was to collect the eggs.  Now, to achieve this, Mrs D had to take a drug to stimulate her ovaries.  As you’ll remember from GCSE Biology back in the day, the ovaries pass one egg per menstrual cycle.  The drugs stimulate the ovaries to produce more egg follicles and in a short procedure, the consultant will use a needle through the vaginal wall to extract the eggs.

At the point when Mrs D went to theatre, I was was led by a nurse to a room to produce my sample.  

‘Make yourself comfortable Sir, be as long as you need, there’s some ‘material’ in the drawers over there, your sample pot.  When you’re done, open the little service hatch, put your sample in, shut the hatch and then pick up the phone and tell the person that answers you are done‘.  

Simples.  Off she went.  Now, its bad enough having to produce a sample in the comfort of your own home but in a room like this?  Perhaps I should have asked the nurse to give me a hand? Nope, I’m on my own and got a job to do.  Do I open the drawers? Hell yeah, lets see what they’ve left for me.  I really couldn’t have been more disappointed in all honesty.

I done what I had to do.  Pants around my ankles, went about my business.  Bosch.

‘Hello?  I’m done!’ I told the woman at the other end of the phone.  ‘Thank you sir!’ she replied.  Quite possibly the weirdest phone conversation I’ve ever had in all honesty but hey, it is what it is.

I went back to the waiting area and not long after Mrs D was wheeled back in and once she’d come around, we were soon on our way home.  Mrs D remembers how uncomfortable she was on that journey home, she felt every lump in the road.  Who wouldn’t if you had your ovaries blown up like footballs then to stick a needle in them.

The plan was for Mrs D to go back in 5 days when the embryos had hopefully reached Blastocyst and would be implanted.

Dr Simone had informed us that he was able to extract a miraculous haul of 24 eggs.  Way above average.  The clinic would report daily to us on how the eggs were doing.  Given the size of the haul, Dr Simone said it would be good to fertilize half naturally and half by ICSI.

After Day 1, all 24 eggs had successfully fertilized.

After Day 2, we had lost 4.

Between Day 3-5, the most critical stage of the process, we had lost 17.  It was a hugely emotional time.  We'd come so close but all of a sudden it felt so far away.  Then we got the phone call that we'd been waiting for.  3 had made it to Blastocyst.  3 grade As, top ranked, top drawer fertlized embryos and were awaiting implantation.  It was an immense relief.

However, much to our disappointment, Mrs D was feeling bloody awful for a good few days after the procedure and after the consultant called her back to examine her, she was diagnosed with OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome).  Mrs D seems to be sensitive to every medication she takes but the side effect of these drugs were that too many eggs develop in the ovaries, making them very large and extremely painful.  The only thing Mrs D could do was rest and let her body recover.  At Dr Simone's advice, the embryos would be frozen until Mrs D had sufficiently recovered.

8 weeks later...the time had come...

[to be continued...]

Have you had fertility issues?
Have you gone through IVF?
Were you successful?

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